Saying Goodbye to Your Pet

If you’re here, you have likely been nearing that stage in your pets life where you’ve been asking yourself how much time you have left. This can be a scary, upsetting period that can be difficult for you, your family and friends, and your pets. Whether your pet has an illness or is getting old and not able to do the things they used to, planning for their final days will make them a lot smoother for everyone and make the grieving process more bearable. 

I lost one of my dogs, Gromp (pictured above), recently. He had been diagnosed with a condition months before his passing that would need to be managed with treatment for the rest of his life. Unfortunately while he was recovering to the point where we could just manage his symptoms, he got an infection that resulted in him passing very suddenly and unexpectedly. We ultimately decided to go forward with euthanasia to end his suffering, but he had other plans and died in my arms on the way to the hospital. My partner told me Gromp was doing me a favour by passing in my arms so I didn’t have to carry the guilt of wondering if I was making the right choice for him. Whatever forces were at work in his final moments, I am grateful that he passed peacefully against my chest, close to the heart that he made feel so full.

Through getting his diagnosis, and then working through his treatment, there were moments he showed great improvement, and then there were moments where I was scared he didn’t have much longer. When I didn’t know how much longer he had, I started planning for the end, expecting to know when the end was coming. In addition to being a Pet Portrait Artist, I am also a Veterinary Assistant. Painting memorial paintings for grieving families and being present for euthanasias has ignited a passion for pet memorialization and grief for me. I love animals dearly and if I can help ease this process for you and aid you in feeling you’ve done right by your furry friend, I feel I have done my job. I compiled a list of all the things I did, and wish I did, in my final days with my dear, sweet Gromp. I hope that this list gives you some ideas of how to send off your beloved friend with all the love and support.

Take them to do all the things they love.

When is your pet the happiest? What are their favourite things to do? Do them all! If they can’t handle all the activities they love because of illness or mobility issues, do what you can, or alter the activities to suit their needs. Do they love long walks? Maybe consider taking them for a walk in a wagon with a comfy bed so they can take in the scenery and get some fresh air without putting a strain on their body. If they’re a fan of baths, give them a gentle, warm bath. Take them on car rides, play fetch, visit the pet store and splurge on a special toy or treat, go to the dog park, make time to take them to visit their favourite animals and people (or have them come visit your pet) - there’s still so much fun to be had!

Feed them their favourite meals.

Treat them! But, of course, treat them within reason - you don’t need your pup or cat bloated from a whole smorgasbord of delicious treats and meals. If they are on special diets, don’t give them anything that will make them sick. However, if you’re planning a euthanasia, you can give them extra special treats you wouldn’t normally be able to give them just before. I love this idea from the Smiths Station Animal Hospital (shown on the left) - they offer to give your pup chocolate before you say goodbye because, “no dog should go to Heaven without tasting chocolate”.

Make them as comfortable as possible.

Typically, if you’re considering euthanasia or preparing for their final days, comfort is paramount. Oftentimes your pet will be dealing with arthritis pain, or just the uncomfies from being ill or old. Keep in mind, most pets won’t tell you if they are in pain. Watch for signs of limping, reluctance to move, vocalization, restlessness, increased breathing or heart rate, unusual anxiety, reduced appetite, depression, agitation, or trembling. If discomfort is an issue for your pet, talk to your veterinarian about options to make them more comfortable. Pain medication can help their final days be significantly easier for them, and you!

Adapt your environment to suit their current needs. Do they need their water or food dishes raised? Do they need rugs or mats throughout the house to prevent slipping? This is where some problem solving comes in. Evaluate how their life has become harder recently and try to find a solution to make things easier and less stressful for them.

Write them a letter.

This can be a great grieving and journaling exercise. Write what they meant to you, how you feel about them, the impact they’ve had on your life, what they have done for you, your favourite memories, etc. Exploring your feelings by writing them down can bring you to a better place of healthy acceptance in your grief.

This can be a great exercise to do with kids as well! Suggest your kids explore the idea of what your pet is doing in doggy or kitty heaven.

Consider having your other pet there in their final moments.

While it may seem a bit cruel upon first thought to bring your pet’s friend along with them during a euthanasia, or to be next to them at home in their final moments, it can actually be very beneficial in the other’s grieving process. Animals can recognize when another animal is passing and witnessing that they have passed, can help them accept the situation as it is.

I brought my other dog, Humphrey, along with me to be of comfort to Gromp during the procedure and see him through his final moments. As I said before, Gromp had different plans and decided to go sooner than we expected. While Humphrey is a great dog, I will say that he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed and most of the time has no conception of what is going on around him. My partner and I expected that maybe he would be a bit clueless to what was going on, and in the end we were right. So in this case, it didn’t matter whether he was present or not. But working at a veterinary hospital and being present for many euthanasias, I’ve found that many times bringing companion animals to the appointment can be of great comfort to both the one that is passing and the one that is grieving. But as with all things, do what feels right for you and your pets.

Discuss options with your veterinarian.

Your veterinarian will be able to gauge how much pain or discomfort they may be in and offer up possible solutions. They may also be able to give you a rough time frame of how much longer they have left, and when you should consider euthanasia. One assessment tool to use is the Quality of Life scale - use this one at PetMD. This gives you an idea if they are approaching their final days and if medical intervention should be taken.

Take lots of pictures.

If you’re not like me and don’t take a thousand pictures a day of your pet, I suggest you start now! It never hurts to have a million pictures of your pet sleeping, playing, or when their lip does that curled thing when their gums are dry that is too hilarious not to document. Or take it even a step further and hire a professional photographer to do a photo session with you and your pet!

The picture above is from my favourite local (Squamish, BC) photographer, Katia G. She’s also a birth doula and does amazing birth and family photography! I strongly recommend you check out her website and her instagram - she’s incredibly talented and perfectly captures the personality of the subjects she works with!

Break the rules.

Think of all the things they aren’t allowed to do and let them do it! I mean, within reason at least. Maybe you had rules about them not sleeping on the bed, not begging at the table - break the rules, let them have their cake and eat it too! Give them extra treats, let them dig a hole of two in the backyard, let them get away with murder (figuratively!). One of my favourite things to do to “spoil” Gromp would be to let him sit at the table - he loved it!

Think about memorialization.

When the time comes that they have to take the trip over the rainbow bridge, you may be overwhelmed with how you would like to memorialize them. You may want to consider cremation and keepsake options now rather than making that decision when you are grief stricken. As much as I thought I knew what I wanted, I ended up changing my mind many times when I had just lost Gromp. If you aren’t sure where to start, stay tuned for my blog post regarding memorialization.

And of course, check out my pet portraits here - this is always my favourite way to keep your friend close after they are gone. The picture above is a portrait I painted of dear, sweet Puppi - an Irish Wolfhound that passed a few years ago. Painting pet portraits, whether of pets that have passed or still with us, always fills my heart with joy. Being given the opportunity to capture a pets personality in a drawing or painting feels like a privilege and honour that I am very grateful for. If you are interested in hiring me for a pet portrait, please go to my Commissions page.

Slow down.

Slow down. Take a deep breath. I know this time is stressful and upsetting for you. It will get better. Try your best to stay in the moment and appreciate the time you have left with them. Take the time to enjoy the little moments with them. Sit with them while they’re eating their breakfast. Lay in the backyard with them and really notice how their fur feels as you pet them. Being present in the moment with your animal will make all the difference when they have passed. Spend quality time with them, giving them cuddles, pets, and all the love. You will never regret the time you spent with them.

If you need help planning or coping, I recommend checking out Gateway’s resources for grief support. They have booklets for Pre-Planning and Pet Aftercare and Coping With The Loss of a Companion Animal that are very informative.

Sometimes our little fur babies leave us too soon, and sometimes unexpectedly. Enjoy the time you have left with them and cherish every moment. I hope you have a good send off with your dear friend and your grieving and healing is a smooth, healthy journey. Take care. Ruff.